Reclaiming the Light

Reclaiming the light is a crucial part of healing from any kind of trauma. It’s about reclaiming the light inside us and opening our hearts to the light sprinkled throughout our experiences.

So the first question is, What is light? The most concise definition I’ve found is, “The natural agent that stimulates sight and makes things visible.” https://www.google.com/search?q=light+definition&rlz  Without light, our vision is limited.

Believing in the Light

Throughout my childhood, it felt like any light I had was stripped away by the abuse I suffered at the hands of my parents. The loss of that light was at the core of the depression that threatened to bury me. Leaving my parents’ home at 18 lightened the burden enough to start carving out the “normal” life I longed for. But the more I tried to engage in “normal” living, the more intense unrest churned inside me.

Often, it felt like darkness consumed my soul and I struggled to see my way forward. But sometimes a kind word, or a message of hope opened my eyes to a flicker of light. Then, I would work toward the light, only to be knocked down again. It was like the light was just teasing me—a mirage meant to make me believe in something that wasn’t there. 

It was difficult to keep believing in the reality of that light. But shutting my eyes to it made the pain heavier and eventually unbearable. If I didn’t trust that the light ahead was real, the anguish in my soul would destroy me. The only choice for survival was to believe in the light.

Seeing the Light Around Us

The pain and anguish of our trauma can blind us to the existence of the light around us. It’s like we’re stuck in a box built by the harsh experiences we’ve suffered. The darkness of the box demands our attention. After all, how can light exist in the presence of so much pain?

For me, looking at the pain instead of running from or burying it, opened my eyes to small pieces of light sprinkled throughout my childhood. Christmas with my grandparents was a time of freedom from the abuse. The schoolteachers that encouraged me brought light into my life. Memories of kind friends and riding bicycles sprinkled light on the dark times at home.

Reflecting on those lighter moments eased the pain. The darkness around me began to dissipate and I could see not only light from the past, but light in the present. I could look out at the mountains in the distance and feel their strength. Early morning walks with a friend gave me moments of freedom from the past. And my children’s laughter reminded me there is more to life than pain.

Still, it is not easy to fully leave the box that would keep us from the light. Focusing on the light as we work through the effects of trauma can ultimately free us from the darkness.

Reclaiming the Light Within Us

Abuse and trauma can blind us to the light outside of us and even the light within us. For years, I believed that my soul was dark—like I was an outsider to a light-filled world. I needed the strength that came with believing in a Higher Power and the possibilities of something better.

In searching for healing, a verse in the Bible challenged my dark-soul theory: “That was the true Light, which lighteth every man that cometh into the world.” John 1:9

A light which lights every person that comes into the world. It was a freeing thought. But still, the anguish of my childhood experiences made it difficult to believe. Even if I had the light at the beginning of my life, I wasn’t sure it had survived the abuse. So new questions emerged—”Do we really lose light, or is it only buried beneath the pain of our trauma?” And “Is our light self-contained, or is it connected to something bigger than ourselves?”

If it is true that we have an innate light, then maybe the box of pain we are trapped in is actually surrounded by the light we were born with. Maybe the box is not who we are, but only a part of our experience. Light Behind the Mask

Reclaim the Light

Understanding that we are truly “children of light” 1 Thes. 5:5 can lift us above the darkness. It can help us reclaim the light within us and around us. Then we are free to build and thrive in the purposeful life we are meant to live.