The Power to Choose
The power to choose seems a distant reality when we are victims of abuse. It is not only the uncertainty and pain of events we can’t control, but the way abuse shatters our ability to see our real selves. Abusers use tools of pain and deception to transfer blame onto their victims. Breaking free from the effects of abuse is about reclaiming our power to choose who we will be and the direction our life will take.
Choose to Heal
Reclaiming power requires us to acknowledge and process the emotional, physical, and spiritual pain of the abuse. Time does not heal all wounds. But being brave enough to confront the pain and do the emotional work can release us from its prison.
When we are ready to address it, there is a freedom in allowing ourselves to feel and express the intense emotions linked to our trauma. As we discover ways to express and let go of those emotions with professional guidance and counseling, peace can accompany the process. We have the power to choose healing.
Choose to Believe
Dealing with the effects of childhood abuse left the vision of the life I wanted broken into a million pieces. At first, it felt like the only thing in front of me was a prison of the painful experiences. Eventually, I rediscovered pieces of the life I thought I lost. Throughout my remembering, for every traumatic memory, there was a glimpse of light. With every recalling of a light and happy memory, there was a piece of dark uncovered. I learned that no life is either all good or all bad, and one does not cancel out the other.
Finding the courage to hope in a better tomorrow helps us hang on during the storms and ultimately embrace the beauty we long for. To move forward, we must believe that the light is strong enough to get us through the dark–that hope can help us heal from the trauma.
“Research shows that hope helps to lessen the impact of trauma, whether from military experiences, sexual assault, or other traumatic events. A 2019 study on survivors of childhood sexual abuse found that hope was associated with post-traumatic growth.” (https://www.newportacademy.com/resources/mental-health/hope-and-mental-health)
The Power to Choose
In a recent interview with Tammy Claughton from The Porch Movement, she shared an insight into her own healing from childhood trauma. She learned she had the power to be who she decided to be. Her message? We do not have to remain victims. We have the power to choose which path our lives will follow.
Recognizing that we have the power to choose what we will do with what we have been given changes everything. That is where we find the power to heal. Viktor Frankl learned this truth as a Holocaust survivor, “In the final analysis, it becomes clear that the sort of person the prisoner became was the result of an inner decision, and not the result of [external] influences alone.” Man’s Search for Meaning. We can choose to heal. We can choose to believe. We can choose to live. We have the power to choose to move forward. The Power to Heal
It amazes me, though it shouldn’t, how often Tammy advises victims of abuse to seek after the Light to escape their darkness. Her book, “Miracles In The Dark”, proves that Jesus Christ is the greatest source of Saving Light in this world. His Truth and Love were her ladder out of her pit of despair and into her brighter future.
I can’t imagine how forsaken victims of abuse must feel when God doesn’t immediately rescue them from their suffering. But, please don’t blame Jesus for the evil you are facing. 1 John 1:5 says, “God is LIGHT and in Him is no darkness at all.” It’s your abusers who have embraced the devil’s darkness. But, you don’t have to let them snuff out the Light of Hope that still burns deep inside you.
Some of my favorite concepts from Tammy’s post today confirm this: “Finding the courage to hope in a better tomorrow helps us hang on during the storms and ultimately embrace the beauty we long for. To move forward, we must believe that the light is strong enough to get us through the dark–that hope can help us heal from the trauma. Research shows that hope helps to lessen the impact of trauma, whether from military experiences, sexual assault, or other traumatic events. A 2019 study on survivors of childhood sexual abuse found that hope was associated with post-traumatic growth.” Thank You, Tammy!
Thank you, Cindy. Your comment could be another post in itself. Yes, Jesus Christ is the true saving Light. It is hard sometimes to accept that a loving God allows us to go through such extreme trials, but He doesn’t abandon us to them. He offers healing, peace, and new strength and understanding. The healing comes as we turn to Him and ask how do we use what we’ve been through to help others navigate their own storms. We find our own strength as we choose to use what we have to lift others.
–Tammy
Good stuff!