With God Nothing is Impossible

If there is anything I have learned in my life, it is that with God nothing is impossible. He offers us power to understand, power to grow, and power to overcome. Ultimately, He offers us the lifting power of joy.

And that’s what Miracles in the Dark is about. It is my life on paper. It is proof that truly with God nothing is impossible. My heart is full of gratitude, not just for the culmination of years of effort, but gratitude for the journey.

Not an Easy Path

Both of my parents were narcistic abusers, whose limited vision led them to believe that overpowering others meant power and freedom. Those beliefs led to unspeakable pain for my sisters and me—and others. From the outside, our family was probably labeled dysfunctional. From the inside, family life was traumatizing on every level.

It has not been easy, in fact, sometimes it felt—and still feels—impossible to move forward. Learning to trust has been the key to opening doors to the light and peace I crave.

Working Towards Healing

When you have been hurt—purposely hurt—by those you love, trusting anyone is difficult.  At times, it seems impossible. But learning to trust is key to healing. Over the years, I have had the privilege of knowing several who have successfully battled substance addictions. As they shared their journeys, a significant element in their healing came in step two of their twelve-step program: The Step 2 tradition states, “Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” aa.org/twelvesteps

This AA tradition echoes truths I have found. When I looked to and believed in a power bigger than myself or any being on earth I knew, the chains that kept me down began to loosen. Believing in a “higher power” is the beginning of a new life. For me, it was the first step in finding the strength to be myself—the me I was born to be.

Learning to Trust

Sometimes believing in a “Higher Power” isn’t easy. It’s difficult to see how a being so powerful would not stop the insane tendency for some people to traumatize others, or stop the suffering of a decent person who succumbs to illness. How can it be true that “with God nothing is impossible”?

In my darkest times, there seemed to be no evidence of a kind Director of the universe. When I chose to quit believing, the darkness around me thickened. Anger and despair quickly walled off my heart; the desire to live buried.

Just as the darkness threatened to extinguish what light was left, it came to me that I had a choice. It was apparent that not believing took me further from the life I craved; believing, on the other hand, believing in a loving, kind Director re-opened doors of possibility. Practicing believing eventually broadened my vision of what life is really about.

Maybe our happiness and peace isn’t tied to everything being just as we think it should be. Maybe it’s not about a life with little or no pain. What if it’s about leaning, growing, and finding strength? Our vision can be limited. Believing in a “Higher Power” can open our eyes to more than we ever thought possible.

A New Life Vision

When I was a child, my idea of a perfect life was simply about being loved. But my “Higher Power”, Jesus Christ, knew there was so much more for me in this life than I could begin to comprehend.

I believe that the trials we endure can open our hearts to experience the good on a deeper level. Trusting in a benevolent “Higher Power” is what opens our heart to joy—real joy. Real joy is not fleeting, but resonates from our heart and connects us to the power of a light-filled universe.

That connection is what helps us move forward through the trials and ultimately to a life that may be different than what we dreamt of, but bigger and more fulfilling than we could imagine. Truly with God nothing is impossible.

The severe abuse I suffered caused Complex PTSD and Dissociative Identity Disorder. While I may always experience lingering effects of the abuse, the abuse and the disorders they caused no longer define me. They are only a small part of the whole. Choosing to believe “that a Power greater than ourselves could restore [me] to sanity” has made all the difference.

The Gift: Peace The Gift: Healing the Child Within