The Gift: Peace

Sometimes the idea of peace is associated with no turmoil—kind of a smooth sailing idea. The Lord did indeed calm the troubled seas for His Apostles. But, afterwards He expressed concern that during the storm, fear overshadowed the faith they were gaining. It kept them from the gift of peace He offered.

Even Jesus Wept

Let me be clear: I don’t believe that strong enough faith means a heartache-free life. And I don’t believe that strong faith means we will never cry. Even Jesus wept. (John 11:35 KJV) Sometimes the peace comes after the trial. Did I feel peace while suffering physical abuse at the hands of my mother? No. But there were pauses of peace throughout my childhood. I learned about Jesus and often could feel His love. I believed in His power to help me.  

As I got older, I used that belief as blinders to the pain I carried inside. In my teens, the blinders came off. Anger at the constant physical, sexual, and spiritual abuse heaped on me by both parents raged. The only time I felt peace was after my brain packaged up all the pain so a part of me could see past it (the first manifestations of PTSD). By seventeen, I chose not to believe in the Jesus of my childhood. I abandoned my hope and relied on my own “logic” to navigate my life.

Experimenting with the Light

Before long, the pain and anguish buried me. The desire to continue forward dissipated into the heartache that was drowning me. I fell into a pit of despair that threatened to choke the life out of me. In that darkest moment, when hope was gone, a small light was handed to me. The descent stopped; there was a choice to be made. Should I take hold of the light and find my way forward, or I could snuff it out with fear and anger and succumb to the despair. I decided to experiment with the light. I wanted to live after all.

Logically, it didn’t make sense that if there is a benevolent “higher power” that the trauma any of us experience would not be stopped. I didn’t understand the whys of our trials and I didn’t understand why Divine intervention didn’t happen in ways that made sense to me. But, I chose to believe anyway. I needed to believe in a “higher power”—in a loving God who could heal, love and direct me through the storms. I chose to believe in Jesus Christ. Maybe there was more to believing than having things go how I thought they should.

Peace on Earth

Life unfolded in ways that I did not anticipate. My eyes opened to pieces of light during even the darkest trials. When I focused on those, peace led me through the storms. Still, there were many times fear and anger kept the peace from settling the heartache that raged. Learning to actually trust God’s plan for me—and for those I love—helped me put aside the blinders of fake positivity. Trust allows me to experience the whole of what is my journey. Is it Gratitude or Blinders?

Lessons Learned

Peace on Earth has more to do with the heart than with the circumstances of our lives. Trusting in the love of One who knows more than we do, gives us the strength to navigate the storms. When fear and pain haunt our days, choosing to believe counters its effects. Realizing that we do not have to do this can open our eyes and hearts to the help and peace He offers us as only He can.

Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace, good will toward [all]. (Luke 2:14 KJV)

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/scriptures/nt/luke/2?lang=eng