Healing Emotional Trauma and Building on the Light

Emotional trauma has a way of twisting reality, making it hard to see our way to healing. The pain and fear gets a strangle-hold on our hope, blinding us to the very light that can sustain us through the hardship. Trauma has a way of sneaking up on most of us. For some it is a lifelong burden with its roots in the events of our childhood. But healing emotional trauma is possible, regardless of its origins.

Trauma Origin

Most of the pain and heartache I have experienced in my life comes from the abuse I suffered at the hands of the very people who should have loved and protected me. Both of my parents abused me sexually, physically, and spiritually. And emotional abuse came with the package. By the time I was a teenager, I couldn’t be me anymore. So my brain figured out a way to box up the trauma and create a new me that didn’t have to face the terror of the abuse that continued.

When I wasn’t around Mom and Dad, I could function on a somewhat normal level for the first thirty years of my life. But at some point, the full effect of the trauma I suffered had to come to the surface. So in my thirties, the dark that was bottled up inside started banging on the wall that separated it from the present. Something had to give—it was time to accept the terror and pain.

The First Step

On my own journey, the first step was being willing to face the demons that haunted me. It was terrifying. It felt like the truth about my trauma would destroy me. I couldn’t see how the good in my life and the reality of the abuse I suffered could both exist in the same world. The truth is that not being willing to accept the pain gave it the ability to destroy me little by little. Tired of being at the mercy of the past, I struggled forward.

It was not a simple or easy process. Most of the time I felt I wasn’t moving forward at all. Waves of intense pain, disgust, and anger knocked be off my feet time and time again. But with the help of a competent professional, over time, pain was processed and brought it into the present. I regained power over my own life .

During that time, I learned that our minds have amazing fail-safes to keep us going in the face of debilitating evens. On one level, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder can remove us from the effects of the trauma until we are in a safe place to deal with it. It’s called dissociation.

On an even deeper level is the brain’s ability to split the psyche into different personalities or identities. This helps shoulder the weight of the trauma that has the capability of destroying us. It’s like the brain creates a circle of supporters to help carry the weight. This is called Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). DID preserved my life until I could gain the strength to face the terror I suffered at the hands of my parents.

Finding Hope and Healing

Whatever the severity of our trauma or the toll it takes on our minds and bodies, life has a way of sprinkling light throughout our experiences, These are pieces of hope and strength to hold onto as we navigate the darkness of the trauma. As we are willing to face the reality of the damage that the heartache caused, we find life-saving light that kept the trauma from completely destroying us.

Can we heal from emotional trauma? Yes, eventually. Can we have happiness and even joy in this life regardless of our pain and the limits our trauma puts on us? I believe the answer is yes. With that answer, the question becomes how do we go about being able to feel enough to feel the happiness and joy available to us?

The specific answers are different for each of us, but my hope is that in sharing my experiences, our minds and hearts can excavate the light buried by the dark and use it as the foundation we build our future on.