Focus Forward: You Deserve Life

I don’t like New Year’s resolutions. They tend to make me feel like I’m not good enough which compounds my struggle with never feeling good enough. Last week, I came across this insightful message from Eric Aroca: “Having a word or phrase to guide us through the year can be a compass, helping us stay aligned with our values and goals. It’s not just about resolutions; it’s about creating meaning and focus.” So, what could be my compass phrase that would create meaning and focus? Thinking about the triumphs and struggles of 2024, two phrases came to the forefront: Focus forward and “You deserve Life.”

You Deserve Life

One of the biggest deterrents to focusing forward can be the loss of our sense of self-worth. The effects of abuse, trauma, and emotional suffering are real and can skew our vision of who we are. Our true self gets lost in the pain and confusion of what we have been through. Worthlessness and shame are the burdens we carry. These burdens can get so heavy and blinding that we can’t see or feel the lighter parts of life or the world.

How do we focus forward when we are struggling against burdens that would bury us in a pit of hopeless despair? How do we hold onto the belief that we truly deserve life?

So often, the trauma of abuse robs us of the dignity, hope, and love we both desire and deserve. Focusing forward as we work through our trauma can help us reclaim what was lost. The truth is that regardless of the burdens we carry, we are worth the effort to move forward.

Last year my friend, Danielle Morelli, shared this powerful truth: “You deserve life. You deserve dignity. You deserve a chance at hope and love.” Survivor Shift Episode 6

Choose to Believe

Simply hearing that truth will not change us. But choosing to believe in our worth can change everything.

Every part of you deserves life. The pieces of you that are beaten down by the actions of others deserve life. The parts that have made choices that caused pain to those you love deserve life. And the parts of you that were weak when you wanted to be strong deserve life.

With that being said, it’s important to remember that it’s okay to not be okay. But even in our brokenness, we can stop and take in the beauty around us and let it permeate our heart. Healing comes in accepting what is in front of you—the good, the bad, and the unknown. There is beauty in full experiences, not just the “good” parts of each one. Opening your heart to the pain allows you to fully experience the beautiful. You are loved. You are worthy. You are not Shame, you are Strength.

Even in our darkest moments, we don’t need to be rescued from life, but from the bonds of hopelessness. Accepting those truths can free us from the chains of the past. Then, as we continue to focus forward we can be free to move forward on the path we choose. Our future does not need to be dictated by our past.

Trust in the Light

In the Survivor Shift series, I have interviewed many people from different walks of life about their healing journeys. Each of them has navigated some type of trauma and moved from the surviving phase of healing to being able to thrive in their lives. In every case, faith in a Higher Power is the common denominator in making that transition.

Logically, it doesn’t make sense that if there is a benevolent “higher power” that the trauma any of us experience would not be stopped. On my own journey, there are many times I don’t understand the whys of the trials I face. I don’t understand why Divine intervention doesn’t happen in ways that make sense to me. But I choose to believe anyway. I need to believe in a “higher power”—in a loving God who can heal, love and direct me through the storms. I choose to believe in Jesus Christ.

Let me be clear: I don’t believe that strong enough faith means a heartache-free life. And I don’t believe that strong faith means we will never cry. Even Jesus wept. (John 11:35 KJV) Many times fear and anger keep peace from settling the heartache that rages. Sometimes the peace comes after the trial.

Focus Forward

Does focusing forward mean that we turn a blind eye to past traumas? No. We cannot learn from the past if we are unwilling to acknowledge the hurt we have experienced. Pretending the trauma of the past has not affected us limits us. Believing in our worth, maintaining hope in a Higher Power to help us through, and focusing forward gives us the power to work through the effects of our trauma.

While we do not need to unearth the details of every difficult experience that we’ve endured, trusting God to put in front of us the things that are limiting us can free us to claim the power and understanding we need to move forward. Learning to actually trust God’s plan for us—and for those we love—helps us put aside the worthlessness and shame that haunts us. Trust allows us to own the reality of who we are and experience the whole of what is our journey.

When storms of doubt, fear, or pain cloud our vision, Focus Forward.

When old traumas want to pull us into the past and zap us of hope, Focus Forward.

When the effects of past traumas haunt the present, Focus Forward.

When dreams seem out of reach, hold onto hope and Focus Forward.

“You deserve life. You deserve dignity. You deserve a chance at hope and love.”