Finding Joy After Trauma

If my childhood were a movie, it would play out like a Stephen King horror story. Its ongoing impact often made me question whether finding joy after trauma was possible. Sometimes, it felt like I was destined to live in a prison where the windows were permanently shuttered. How could the light and beauty of the outside world ever break through my darkness?

Fighting Against the Darkness

In the early years of my recovery, I thought that I had to get rid of the intense pain and anguish before the light could permeate my prison. It was an exhausting fight. Empty and nearing hopelessness, I sank to my knees and pleaded for help. The turmoil quieted. In that moment, I could see myself sitting in a windowless room. A door softly opened, and the light on the other side poured into my room. I was no longer a prisoner of the darkness.

Once I let the light in, the pain and anguish began to heal. New space for beauty opened up in my heart. The trauma-caused blinders lifted and I could better see the light parts of my life. Rumi, a 13^th-century poet, shares beautifully this relationship between dark and light:

“Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place.” The Mathnawi of Jalalu’ddin Rumi

Finding Hope

It’s true. Our trauma does not have to preclude us from good. It can actually provide a way for us to feel the good more deeply.

My current life defies the stigma that childhood abuse survivors must live permanently shackled by their trauma. It proves that our upbringing DOES NOT determine how we will end up. What made the difference for me? First, I discovered hope through my faith in the loving grace of Jesus Christ. This belief has given me healing, understanding, and a path to a better life. The second part of the answer lies in how He provides these gifts.at made the difference for me? First, I found hope in believing in the loving grace of Jesus Christ. It has offered me healing, understanding, and the way to a better life. The second part of the answer is about how He provides those things.

How Grace Touches Our Lives

When I look for the how in my own life beautiful happy moments come into focus. The earliest memories of feeling happy came with the teaching that I am a child of God. Many people in my life reinforced that message of love, kindness, and faith. These included the missionaries who brought my family Christmas when I was small and a teacher who encouraged me. Peers unexpectedly stepped out to befriend me. A young woman leader at church gave me the opportunity to find out who I really am. And the list goes on.

Some offered encouraging words that helped me maintain hope in dark times. Others lifted me by their unwavering faith and examples of following the path the Savior has given us.  And some simply shared the happy things in life and encouraged me to see the good as well. The message of love radiated through all of those moments. It rekindled the light in my heart that helped me see the world in a different way. Looking through that light, life became full of possibilities.

You Are Loved

A recent talk given by Dieter F. Uchtdorf brightened that message again in my heart:

“Whether you are 8 or 108, there is one thing that I hope you truly understand and know:

You are loved.

You are dear to your heavenly parents.

The infinite and eternal Creator of light and life knows you! He is mind­ful of you.

Yes, God loves you this very day and always.

He is not waiting to love you until you have overcome your weaknesses and bad habits. He loves you today with a full understanding of your struggles. He is aware that you reach up to Him in heartfelt and hope­ful prayer. He knows of the times you have held onto the fading light and believed—even in the midst of growing darkness. He knows of your sufferings. He knows of your remorse for the times you have fallen short or failed. And still He loves you.

And God knows of your successes; though they may seem small to you, He acknowledges and cherishes each one of them. He loves you for extend­ing yourself to others. He loves you for reaching out and helping others bear their heavy burdens—even when you are struggling with your own.

He knows everything about you. He sees you clearly—He knows you as you really are. And He loves you— today and always!

…He loves you not only for who you are this very day but also for the person of glory and light you have the potential and the desire to become.” Living the Gospel Joyful

Finding Joy

These truths make all the difference. We are valued by a loving Heavenly Father. Accepting this truth allows us to fully experience the love that others offer us. When we are able to receive love, it ignites a desire to show that same love to others. Our eyes open to new and beautiful experiences. The voids in our hearts can be filled!

Happiness can be found in many of the small moments of life. A life of joy comes when we link those moments with the knowledge that we are loved by our Heavenly Father. It comes when we let the light of truth into the darkness. It is then that our lives have meaning and purpose.

We do not have to stay in the prison of trauma, heartache, and anguish. Regardless of the harsh experiences we have gone through, each of us can find light, hope, and even joy. We can be free to thrive in a life that is uniquely our own.

Reclaiming the Good