Effects of Abuse: the Silent Killer

The Silent Killer

Abuse is the silent killer. Even if a victim survives physically, the effects of abuse can slowly kill a spirit and the will to live. Abuse is rampant and help is needed. We need to share healing truths to help counter the effects of abuse and raising awareness is key. But there are antidotes to help victims re-find themselves and thrive in the life that is uniquely their own.

Antidotes for Healing

The antidotes are many, and it is important to share what we have learned, and what we need. Here are a few that have helped me navigate my own journey in reclaiming my light–

Healing Truths

The effects of abuse in my childhood resulted in most of my energy being used to fight feelings of worthlessness and despair. At one of my lowest points as a teenager, a leader in our youth group reached out to me for help with a project. Her “needing” me planted a seed of hope—maybe there was something inside me of value.  That seed led to healing truths as I continued to reach for a better life. These truths are not an easy fix, but can help sustain us through the rocky parts of the journey. 

• The pain that comes from abuse can lead to denying or minimizing the abuse. Pretending that the pain or abuse itself does not exist only enables the abuser’s destructive behavior to continue and retains us as victims. We cannot overcome the effects of the abuse if we are not willing to accept the reality of it and deal with its full effects. No matter what anyone says, we did not and do not deserve the pain we have suffered at the hands of our abusers.
• Facing the truths of our pain is never as easy as others may say it should be. The intensity of the fear and powerlessness that accompany the pain affect our confidence in moving forward and sometimes cloud our ability to see our life’s worth. Letting the pain out in productive ways—crying, physical activity, talking, etc.—frees us from its stranglehold and allows us to internalize the strengthening emotions of joy, peace, and love. Your life can be filled with light and hope. You were meant to find happiness in this life.
• Seeking help is not an admission of failure, but acceptance of the complexity of what we have been through. There are many healing paths and professionals to help. We don’t have to do this alone. 
• Every abuser needs help and healing of their own, but the victim is never the one to give it. As a victim, the best thing you can do for the abuser and yourself is to leave them to the care of those who are trained to help and move forward on your own path. 
• Forgiveness is a healing part of the journey when seen simply as an intentional decision to let go of anger, vengeance, or resentment. Forgiveness does not mean it is okay the abuse happened. It does not mean a renewed or continued relationship with the abuser. Forgiveness is part of the process of dismantling the chains that the abuser would have you wear.
• Being abused does not take away who we are. We are not weak, but gifted and capable. We cannot change the past and we can’t ignore it, but we can learn from it. We have the ability to choose what we will do and where we will go from this point forward.
• Step 2 of the Alcoholics Anonymous recovery program is about accepting a higher power or that there is a power greater than ourselves. It’s about being humble enough to accept we need help and is a healing principle For me, accepting Jesus Christ as my Savior gives me the strength and hope I need to move forward through the healing process. Even though sometimes it is difficult to understand how the reality of the power of Jesus Christ fits with the trials we have experienced, when I have the courage to trust in His love, I am strengthened. Believing and trusting in something good and more powerful than ourselves can fill the voids and help let down the walls that keep us from feeling joy. It opens our eyes to paths of healing. 

Moving Forward

Healing truths are not only necessary for victims, but for those who wish to help. We can lessen the effects of abuse and stop the silent killer. Raising awareness helps in the battle to reclaim lives.

Healing Emotional Trauma and Building on the Light

Raising Awareness

When you have been a victim of any kind of abuse, one of the hardest things to do is to admit to yourself and others that you have been deeply hurt by those who should love and care for you. Whether you are an abused child or adult, the feelings of helplessness and fear you experience can be devastating.

If you know someone who is facing this kind of trauma, here are several things to keep in mind:

• A compassionate listener is of great worth to a grieving heart. You don’t need to solve their problems, but simply support them as they seek out the solutions.
• Be patient in the recovery process—it is a process.
• Know your own boundaries and be gentle and firm in setting them.
• You can’t fix them and you both need to know that. Reassure them in their own abilities to be find healing and encourage them in seeking professional help.
• Acknowledging a Higher Power can be a great comfort to you as well as them.

Reclaim Your Light

There are as many ways to reclaim your light as there are ways to have it snuffed out. Having hope that there really are healing truths is the first step in your reclamation.

Join in Raising Awareness

What healing truths have you found that help you or those you love in their reclamation journey? Please share in the comments.

I look forward to hearing from you.

–Tammy René

Read about my journey in healing in Miracles in the Dark: How a Childhood Cult and Abuse Survivor Reclaimed the Light https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CR1T39H3?tag=pacificsoc-20&geniuslink=true