Healing Truths

Childhood abuse resulted in most of my energy being used to fight feelings of worthlessness and despair. At one of my lowest points as a teenager, a leader in our youth group reached out to me for help with a project. Her “needing” me planted a seed of hope—maybe there was something inside me of value.  That seed led to healing truths as I continued to reach for a better life. These truths are not an easy fix, but can help sustain us through the rocky parts of the journey. Resources

• The pain that comes from abuse can lead to denying or minimizing the abuse. Pretending that the pain or abuse itself does not exist only enables the abuser’s destructive behavior to continue and retains us as victims. We cannot overcome the effects of the abuse if we are not willing to accept the reality of it and deal with its full effects. No matter what anyone says, we did not and do not deserve the pain we have suffered at the hands of our abusers.
• Facing the truths of our pain is never as easy as others may say it should be. The intensity of the fear and powerlessness that accompany the pain affect our confidence in moving forward and sometimes cloud our ability to see our life’s worth. Letting the pain out in productive ways—crying, physical activity, talking, etc.—frees us from its stranglehold and allows us to internalize the strengthening emotions of joy, peace, and love. Your life can be filled with light and hope. You were meant to find happiness in this life.
• Seeking help is not an admission of failure, but acceptance of the complexity of what we have been through. There are many healing paths and professionals to help. We don’t have to do this alone. 
• Every abuser needs help and healing of their own, but the victim is never the one to give it. As a victim, the best thing you can do for the abuser and yourself is to leave them to the care of those who are trained to help and move forward on your own path. 
• Forgiveness is a healing part of the journey when seen simply as an intentional decision to let go of anger, vengeance, or resentment. Forgiveness does not mean it is okay the abuse happened. It does not mean a renewed or continued relationship with the abuser. Forgiveness is part of the process of dismantling the chains that the abuser would have you wear.
• Being abused does not take away who we are. We are not weak, but gifted and capable. We cannot change the past and we can’t ignore it, but we can learn from it. We have the ability to choose what we will do and where we will go from this point forward.
• Step 2 of the Alcoholics Anonymous recovery program is about accepting a higher power or that there is a power greater than ourselves. It’s about being humble enough to accept we need help and is a healing principle For me, accepting Jesus Christ as my Savior gives me the strength and hope I need to move forward through the healing process. Even though sometimes it is difficult to understand how the reality of the power of Jesus Christ fits with the trials we have experienced, when I have the courage to trust in His love, I am strengthened. Believing and trusting in something good and more powerful than ourselves can fill the voids and help let down the walls that keep us from feeling joy. It opens our eyes to paths of healing. 

Find more help here: https://988lifeline.org/